Day 1 Hope challenge

Amanda’s Story

I always felt my story was insignificant. In comparison to so many, what I went through was minor in my eyes. But in my heart, my experience was traumatic for me and I was ashamed that I allowed it to happen more than once. I remember clearly my brother and his friend riding in the back of our truck while 5-year-old me told my parents why I didn't like that boy, "he did pushups on top of me." The rest of the memories from that time are fuzzy but I do know it kept happening. Not just that boy but other men. Being touched in places no one should touch a young girl. 5, 7, 12, 14 years old... I always wondered why things like that kept happening to me. I was angry at my abusers and I was confused why God continued to allow it. I went to therapy and found myself coping in strange ways. As I got older, I strived for attention from guys. I wanted to feel loved and had it in my mind that giving my body away would accomplish that. It didn't and I was left empty and broken. God showed up in so many ways along the way, but I didn't recognize it until I looked back. His footprints were all over my life, guiding me to better, guiding me to Him. Godly women in my life encouraged me to forgive and after long battle within myself I did. It was un-forgiveness that held me captive, fear that gripped me into the stronghold of the devil. But when I learned to trust again, not men but in God, I found peace within myself and beauty from my ashes.

Prayer for Today

Father, I am struggling. I know you see me. I know you knit me together in my mother's womb and you have a purpose for me. God, I feel so alone and need to feel your presence. Take away the nightmares and fear. Fill me with your peace that no one can understand. Give me a future and a hope. Show me the way and help me to walk in it. Help me to forgive so that I won't be held prisoner by my abuser(s). Only you can because you are a good Father. Teach me to trust you. In the power of Jesus name, Amen.